The Semantics of Pregancy: "We" vs. "She"

Do I say "we're pregnant" or "she's pregnant"? From the strict reading of physiology and semantics, "we're" not pregnant because "we" don't have a uterus, ovaries, or the capability to carry an baby to term. "She" (Leslie) has all those things, thus "she" is clearly the correct choice.

Or is it?

I'm not exactly a big believer in strict readings (though a detailed discussion of that is for different blogs), and I hold quite strongly that the intent behind a given statement and the sum-of-its-parts of a document are equally as important as the individual text components. On the other hand, I have come to find that I deeply value precision and accuracy in my communication -- too often I've seen meetings derail, tempers flair, and progress grind to a halt not because the parties differed (they in fact usually agreed), but because they weren't clear and precise in WHAT they were saying.

So the need for specificity and precision suggests that I should only say that "Leslie is pregnant." The problem is that, like so many things, the one word and a contraction (or does the contraction count as a word in and of itself) of "we're pregnant", don't really mean what they seem to say on the surface. Instead, they can and should suggest far more interesting depths. For me, saying "we're pregnant" is an affirmation of the incredible partnership that Leslie and I have, not just in our new baby, but in everything. I know that "we" aren't both physically pregnant, but as a husband and soon-to-be father, aren't these nine months (shit -- less than SIX now!) a profound time of development, growth, and quickening for me as well?

I would be a fool to pretend that I can just sit back, watch Leslie be pregnant for awhile, and then magically be a father when the baby is born. And I like to imagine that I am not a fool -- at least about this. :)

I want to say "we're pregnant" because I want everyone to now that Leslie and I are a team, we're a mother and father bearing and raising a child together. I say "we're pregnant" because both of us are preparing in ways physical, mental, and spiritual for our first child. I say "we're pregnant" because there are few thing more profound for two people to share, even if they experience it in significantly different ways.

Unfortunately, I often do NOT say "we're pregnant" for two reasons:

1) I perceive that others hearing me say "we're" will not see it as a declaration of interdependence, but as an attempt to draw attention to me, when Leslie as the mother is the center of attention. That's not at all why I say "we're", but it's what I think "they'll" think. A little meta-cognition suggests that I, in my own mind, believe that most other men say "we're" to draw attention to the man (who feels left out) -- implying a certain arrogance on my part that I would do well to avoid.

2) I often don't say "we're pregnant" because I very much WANT Leslie to have the full measure of credit, attention, and care that she deserves. It's her, not me, that's undergoing the physical changes. She, not I, rides the hormonal roller coaster that saps her energy, unsettles her stomach, and turns some of her favorite aromas into aversions. She, not I, carries our child, giving it life and nourishment from her own body, protecting it from everything, and experiences the singular joy of having new life inside of her. She deserves every bit of attention, good feeling, warmth, tenderness, and support that we all can give her. My journey is profound and challenging in its own right, but not in any way that should detract from her.

So consider the above my apologia for both why I seem to sacrifice precision by saying "we" and why I seem to sacrifice my true feelings by saying "she". In truth, when I say either one, I mean both, with all of the preceding shades and nuances of meaning.

But since repeating the above to everyone we tell of the pregnancy is exceptionally impractical (and boring), I write it here and pretend, in the way of all hubris-drenched bloggers, that everyone has read it because everyone is hanging on my every word and has nothing better to do. "I" now go to bed, confident that the teeming millions of my followers will devour this post within seconds of its availability. :)

P.S. Who else sees the irony in this post, wherein I proclaim that I do not need excess attention, but with the proclamation coming from my personal demesne within the blogosphere, after which it will be posted on Facebook, virtually tapping all of my friends on their collective shoulders and saying "READ ME!!"? I quite clearly have a conflict between my desire to talk about myself ad nauseum to the entire world and my desire to NOT be that blogger that talks about themselves ad nauseum to the entire world. The meta-cognition is fast and furious today. :)